“Falling out of love with heroin and in love with recovery”

Joshua Steenburg’s life started out like any other – a happy home with a loving and supportive family.  Unfortunately, he got caught up in an epidemic that experts say is his generation’s HIV crisis – opioid addiction.

Joshua opened up about his journey in a poem he wrote on Sept. 25, 2014, when he was just 30 days sober and recovering at Memorial Hermann Prevention and Recovery Center. His hope is to reach and inspire others who are battling the same demons. You can find a link to Joshua’s full story at the end of the poem.

The Chase by Joshua Steenburg

I am never achieving, because I am always chasing
My mind is slowing down, while my heart beat is racing
It started with a snort, but snorting became a bore
So I chased a new high, and stabbed a needle in my core
Chasing a high, to ease all of my pain
Time and time again, you might say I’m insane
Don’t ask me how, and don’t ask me why
When I’m chasing the numb, all I care for is the high
I’m sorry for what I am, a man that loves the chase
I’m sorry for all the pain I caused, and can’t look you in the face
This is my story, this chase is my wife
But she’s killing me slowly, welcome to my life. 

The chase keeps me going, she keeps me alive
Even though I am dying, I am trying to survive
Life is a sickness, and she is a cure
She takes my pain away, and makes me feel secure
Although I don’t want her, I just can’t resist
Every single pinprick, is another first kiss
She keeps me company, when I am all alone
She puts me in check, when I am out of my zone
I love her, yet hate her, but can’t seem to let go
I fight and fight through it, but never can say no
I’m down on my knees, I’m begging for strength
To quit this chase, I will go to any length. 

I closed my eyes, and I opened my heart
Sent a prayer to the above, to keep us apart
Then came a man, who would show me the way
An angel of my own, to call every day
With a sign from God, there was finally hope
The chase went away, and she packed all of her dope
Til this day I am free, I am finally alive
I no longer need a chase, to go on and strive
30 Days clean, but the battle is not over
Without you in my veins, anything is possible sober
The chase was my love, and she will always be mine
But now I can say no, one day at a time!

Read Joshua’s full story here.

If you or someone you love is battling addiction, PaRC can help.  For more information, visit parc.memorialhermann.org or call (877) 464-7272.

Comments

  1. This story was just remarkable. What a difference God makes in our lives! Way to go Joshua!

  2. This young man is very brave in sharing his story. So many need to read this. I hope his story and recovery can be shared

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